Laughter is WHAT!

So there’s this magician working on a small cruise ship. He’s been doing his routines every night for a year or two now. The audiences appreciate him, and they change over often enough that he doesn’t have to worry too much about new tricks. However, there’s this parrot who sits in the back row and watches him night after night, year after year. Finally, the parrot figures out how the tricks work and starts giving it away for the audience. For example, when the magician makes a bouquet of flowers disappear, the parrot squawks , “Behind his back! Behind his back!” Well, the magician get really annoyed at this, but he doesn’t know what to do. The parrot belongs to the Captain, so he can’t just kill it. One day, the ship springs a leak and sinks. The magician manages to swim to a plank of wood floating by and grabs on. The parrot is sitting on the other end of the plank. The just stare at each other and drift. They drift for 3 days and still don’t speak. On the morning of the fourth day, the parrot looks over at the magician and says: “OK, I give up. Where did you hide the ship?” 

Rosie Perera said:

OK, to keep it somewhat related to Logos, how about some Bible jokes:

-----

Q. Who is the shortest man in the Bible?

A. Bildad the Shuhite (pronounced "shoe-height"), one of Job's three friends

-----

 

I thought the shortest man in the Bible was Peter, since he slept on his watch. [:D]

A
miscellaneous assortment of jokes I've sent in for our church bulletin

------------------

A 7 Year Old takes a look at Psalm 23

"Mom?"
asks a 7 yr old daughter, "will we be animals when we get to heaven?"

"Um,
do you mean will there be animals in heaven?"

"No,
I mean, will WE be animals?"

"Nooo,
we don't become animals when we get to heaven, why do you ask?"

"Well,
the Bible says 'we are His sheep!"

------------------

A lady
was mailing an old family Bible to her brother in another part of the country.
"Is there anything breakable in here?" asked the postal clerk.

"Only
the Ten Commandments," answered the lady.

------------------

Ruth
and Ethel were sitting in church one Sunday where the service had stretched
well past the traditional hour.

Ruth
leaned over and whispered to Ethel "my butt's asleep."

Ethel
says "I know, I heard it snoring!!"

------------------

The children were lined
up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of
the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the
apple tray: "Take ONE only. God is watching."

Moving further along the
lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip
cookies. A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching
the apples."

------------------

The children at the church are putting on a nativity play.

Three little boys with tea towels on their heads are playing the
parts of the three kings.

They're bearing gifts -- boxes containing gold, frankincense
and myrhh.

The first boy sets down his box and says, "I bring you
gold."

The second boy says, "I bring you myrhh."

And the third boy says, "Frank sent this."

------------------

Pastor's Business Card

A new pastor was
visiting  in the homes of his parishioners. At one house it seemed obvious
that 

someone was at home, but
no answer came to his repeated knocks at the door. 

Therefore, he took out a
business card and wrote 'Revelation 3:20' on the back of it and stuck it
in the door. 

When the offering was
processed the following Sunday, he found that his card had been returned.

Added to it was this
cryptic message, 'Genesis 3:10.' 

Reaching for his Bible
to check out the citation, he broke up in gales of laughter. Revelation
3:20 begins 

'Behold, I stand at the
door and knock.' Genesis 3:10 reads, 'I heard your voice in the garden and
I was afraid

for I
was naked.' 

------------------

Record Drought

"How dry is it?
It's so dry that the Baptists are starting to baptize 

by sprinkling, the
Methodists are using wet-wipes, the Presbyterians 

are giving out rain-checks,
and the Episcopalians, Catholics, and 

Lutherans are praying
for the wine to turn back into water."

------------------

A little boy was
overheard praying: 'Lord, if you can't make me a better boy, don't worry about
it. I'm having a real good time like I am.'

------------------

After the christening of
his baby brother in church, Tommy cried all the way home in the car.

Tommy's mother asked him
three times what was wrong. Finally, the lad sobbed, 'That preacher said he
wanted us brought up in a Christian home, and I want to stay with you
guys!' 

------------------

A Sunday school teacher
asked the children as they were on the way to a church service, 'So, why is it
necessary for us to be quiet in church?'

One little girl replied,
'Because people are sleeping.' 

------------------

A mother was preparing
pancakes for her two young sons, Matt and Tommy.

The boys began to argue
over who should get the first pancake. The mother saw the opportunity for a
moral lesson.

'If Jesus were sitting
here, He would say, 'Let my brother have that first pancake, I can wait.'

Matt turned to his
younger brother and said, 'Tommy, you be Jesus!' 

------------------

Q. Which Bible character
had no parents?

A. Joshua. He was the
son of Nun.

------------------

Q. Who was the best
comedian in the Bible?

A. Samson. He brought
the house down.

------------------

A Rabbi and a Priest are
driving one day and, by a freak accident, have a head-on collision with
tremendous force. Both cars are totally demolished, but amazingly, neither of
the clerics has a scratch on him.

After they crawl out of
their cars, the rabbi sees the priest's collar and says, "So you're a
priest. I'm a rabbi.

Just look at our cars.

There is nothing left,
yet we are here, unhurt.

This must be a sign from
God!"

Pointing to the sky, he
continues, "God must have meant that we should meet and share our lives in
peace and friendship for the rest of our days on earth."

The priest replies,
"I agree with you completely.

This must surely be a
sign from God!"

The rabbi is looking at
his car and exclaims, "And look at this!

Here's another miracle!

My car is completely
demolished, but this bottle of wine did not break.

Surely, God wants us to
drink this wine and to celebrate our good fortune."

The priest nods in
agreement.

The rabbi hands the
bottle to the priest, who drinks half the bottle and hands the bottle back to
the rabbi.

The rabbi takes the
bottle and immediately puts the cap on, then hands it back to the priest.

The priest, baffled,
asks, "Aren't you having any, Rabbi?"

The rabbi replies,
"Nah... I think I'll wait for the police."

------------------

A little girl was talking
to her teacher about whales.

The teacher said it was
physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though they
were a very large mammal their throat was very small.

The little girl stated
Jonah was swallowed by a whale.

The teacher reiterated a
whale could not swallow a human; it was impossible.

The little girl said,
"When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah."

The teacher asked,
"What if Jonah went to hell?"

The little girl replied,
"Then you ask him." 

------------------

A man attends a revival
and listens to the sermon. Afterwards, the pastor asks anyone with needs to
come forward and be prayed over.

The man gets in line
and, when it's his turn the pastor asks, "What do you want me to pray
about?" 

He says, "Pastor, I need
you to pray for my hearing." 

So the pastor puts one
finger in the man's ear and the other hand on top of his head and prays for a
while. He removes his hands and says, "How's your hearing now?" 

The man replies, "I
don't know, pastor. It's not until next Monday."

------------------

A woman went to the Post
Office to buy stamps for her Christmas cards.

Clerk: "What
denomination?" 

Woman: "Oh, good
heavens! Have we come to this? Well, give me 50 Episcopal and 30 Catholic, and
20 Lutheran."

------------------

What
if it had been three Wise Women instead of three Wise Men? They would have
asked directions, arrived on time, helped deliver the baby, cleaned the stable,
made a casserole, and brought practical gifts.

------------------

A
little girl asked her preacher dad, "Daddy why do you pray so
much?" 

He
replied, "So God can help me preach better sermons so people won't get
bored and fall asleep." 

The
little girl asked, "Then why hasn't he helped  you?"

A priest, a rabbi, and an imam walk into a bar.

The bartender looks up, sees them, and says: "What is this, some kind of joke?"

My Dad's Better Than Your Dad (Number One)

Three young boys were walking on the sidewalk arguing over whose daddy was the greatest. One said, "My dad is the greatest because he is the president of the town bank." The second boy said, "That is pretty good, but my daddy owns two grocery stores in town!" The third boy said, "That's nothing, my dad is a preacher, and he owns hell. He came home last night and told my mom that the Church Board gave it to him!"

http://www.spotlightministries.org.uk/jokes.htm

A Rabbi and a Priest were sitting together on a train, and the Rabbi leans over and asks, "So how high can you advance in your organization?"

The Priest says, "If I am lucky, I guess I could become a Bishop."

"Well, could you get any higher than that?" asks the Rabbi.

"I suppose that if my works are seen in a very good light that I might be made an Archbishop," said the Priest a bit cautiously.

"Is there any way that you might go higher than that?"

"If all the Saints should smile, I guess I could be made a Cardinal", said the priest.

"Could you be anything higher than a Cardinal?" probed the Rabbi.

Hesitating a little bit, the Priest said, "I suppose that I could be elected Pope, but..."

So the Rabbi says "And could you be anything higher than that? Is there any way to go up from being the Pope?"

"What?! I should be the Messiah himself?!"

The Rabbi leaned back and said, "One of our boys made it!"

Rosie Perera said:

A Baptist and Presbyterian were arguing over the proper mode for baptism. The Baptist insisted that full immersion was necessary, and the Presbyterian explained that in their tradition a sprinkling of water on the head was just fine.

P: So if I walked in up to my knees, would that be a real baptism?

B: No, it has to be full immersion.

P: What about if I went in up to my waist?

B: No, it has to be full immersion!

P: How about if I went in up to my neck?

B: No, man, I keep telling you. It has to be full immersion.

P: What about if I went in up to above my eyebrows, so that just a bit of my hair was still showing?

B: No, no, no. But if you went it just a little bit more that would be a real baptism!

P: So what you're telling me is: it's the water on the top of the head that counts!

True story, similar: I'm a Presbyterian pastor, but some years ago I got to witness the baptism of my mother-in-law in a tiny, New England Baptist church. The baptism took place in a pond in the center of town. As it happened, it was raining. So I got to tell that Baptist pastor that God wasn't satisfied with full immersion & had provided sprinkling so the baptism would be ok. [:D]

Peace to my Logos Forums Brothers and Sisters!       and Joy in the Lord!  Always!

           ...  and a bit of laughter ....

AYBD has a very large article on Humor and Wit, as well as that usage in The Holy Bible ...

From the AYBD -- HUMOR AND WIT. Because humor requires a somewhat “playful” disposition and a willingness (at least temporarily) to suspend all seriousness, many people—especially those with strong and well-defined religious beliefs—may be reluctant to admit that portions of Scripture may be funny or may have been written by someone trying to be humorous. The assumption often is that religion is serious and that it demands a transformation of human nature—especially the eradication of that aspect of human nature that derives pleasure from “worldly” things. Yet in the past century this theological assumption has been abandoned by many people, some of whom point out that humor can be a powerful vehicle for making important points, while others go further and insist that even biblical writing may have been intended primarily to entertain the reader. Because humor is such a fundamental aspect of human nature, there can be little doubt that the ancients laughed at things that struck them as funny. Of course, because humor is so greatly dependent upon the cultural conventions of the moment, it is often difficult (and sometimes impossible) for the modern Western mindset to appreciate what was humorous in ancient Israel or in the early Christian Church. Nevertheless, with the appropriate methodological cautions, something can be said about humor and wit in the ancient world from which the Bible emerged. This entry is intended to survey what is known about humor in antiquity and in the Bible. It consists of four articles, one surveying ancient Egypt, one surveying ancient Mesopotamia, one surveying the Hebrew Bible, and one surveying the NT.

             Gary A. Herion^[1]