Pray for Unix's relationship!

N/A

The user Unix, https://community.logos.com/members/82332/default.aspx https://www.accordancebible.com/forums/user/32105-unix/ took the initiative in Sept. 2015, and wrote to a girl on her 18th birthday on a Swedish dating-site for Christians. Yes, they're both really Christians.

Early Summer 2016 he finally met her in person and started seeing her on a regular basis, but she lived, and still lives, at some distance from him so they couldn't meet all the time.

He was really proud that he had such a wonderful and encouraging girlfriend. He kept that a secret from most people as he and his mother thought that if they publicly say everywhere they are together, some other man will become jealous that "How come that guy has such a nice girl?" and snatch her from him.

Even 3 Weeks ago he and his mother felt it was rude when a relative to them said in another language when he was sitting with that girl, that "When are You going to propose?". The girl didn't speak that language.

Let me say that they really lived in utter chastity, happily so!! Pure at heart and mind. They didn't kiss. Unix even didn't want to utter the words "I love You" because he wanted to wait for a special moment for the words to have great impact. There were of course several special moments, but to him those words would symbolize the next step.

Tonight the girl all of a sudden emailed that she was so grateful for the tremendously great times they've had and that he really deserved to hear how good he had made her feel, but it was time to move on, another man had got engaged with her.

Pray that when they see each other in a few days, that she listens patiently to when he explains to her that what he actually wants is for her to encourage him to and be a moral support for him authoring a book so that he writes a lot for the book! He bought nice earrings for her in Poland during the two-week World Youth Days 2016, which he has kept a secret and was going to give on the prom in June 2017. They actually again discussed the prom the last time they met, that they should start taking dance lessons, he in his own city and she in a town nearby her. He had planned to say the words "I love You" on the prom.

Now it will be time for Unix to tell her he loves her. He wants to seal the friendship with her by giving her the earrings.

He does understand her that she's young and her reaction was to be expected, at the same time situations are to be resolved when they come up.

She didn't know of his innermost feelings towards him and that he was close to telling her he loves her, he still hasn't said that. Concluding from her text messages. She feared hearts are chrushed if he was to say he had planned to propose to her.

Unix wants to be able to keep being friends with her, for the encouragement and moral support he needs to author the book he's writing. He doesn't think it's that much of a problem that she's engaged now with another man (far worse things have happened and people have still been able to be friends, I think).

Unix doesn't have many old friends, most people he knows he met at the World Youth Days 2016. He has one old friend from back in 2008. He wants his friends to be able to accept each other, he works for that and for his relatives to accept ALL his friends.

Unix is also very grateful for the old friends he has from these forums! :-) And has sent a friendship request to someone more (who's name starts with W), on Facebook explaining in a PM. PM:s get filtered when sending from overseas.

Pray for the relationship, that Unix won't loose that girl forever! Nothing has gone wrong with their relationship, it's just a completely new situation for the girl. Pray that she understand his explanations and accepts the gift and wants to seal the friendship and keep encouraging him! They've only meant good to each other. Unix is a grown man and understands the girl, although her new relationship started very very recently, can have feelings for another man.

Friendship is what's strong!

Lastly, don't forget Unix's labour of love on here, the thread which is mostly about commentaries: Concisely erudite expositional commentary vols. worth duplicating? ... also more about that he looks for a co-author, over at that thread! (Authoring does work on a distance.) (The girl being talked about in this thread, no names mentioned out of integrity, bought him the AYBD from that wishlist for the lowest price $112.49 early this Year, he has paid back $22 earlier today before he received that news by email from the girl.)

DAL

Sorry buddy, but I think she was double timing you; i.e., she was dating you and dating another guy at the same time. Think about it, it takes some dating before you get engaged she just didn't get engaged out of the blue with some random guy. Piece of advice, if you're going to try dating sites do local women, long distance usually never works. You'll save yourself some headaches or in your case heartaches since you're claiming you love this girl. Also try to find someone around your age.

Finally, why would you have a girlfriend and not kiss her? There's nothing wrong or sinful about kissing. That's like begging for someone to come and steal your lunch. Maybe that's why she found someone else or maybe not. Just move on and try not to expect to remain friends after you see her,  you might be setting yourself up for disappointment. 

DAL

Ps.  Will pray for your pain to go away fast 👌

BKMitchell

Greetings N/A,

This, I believe, is the type of discussion that belongs on http://christiandiscourse.com/ 

Erwin Stull, Sr.

https://community.logos.com/discussion/comment/877990#Comment_877990

We (and you) would not want this to drag out in the forums or otherwise for an extended length of time, but this is very good advice that DAL has given. This is life. Pretty much everyone has or will go through this or something similar during a lifetime. I have only seen this type of relationship possibly turning into just a friendship later in life.

Robert M. Warren

Someone from Vyrso's gonna Ctrl+A, Ctrl+C and send it right over to the ebook generator machine......without an active table of contents. Kenute will then have a fit.

DMB

https://community.logos.com/discussion/comment/878008#Comment_878008

Robert, excellent.  But you have to admit, it looks pretty prank-ish.