"We hate the wilderness! Can we go back to Egypt?"

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Rob Suggs | Forum Activity | Posted: Thu, Nov 5 2009 11:52 PM | Locked

1 This is the chronicle of the many and diverse wanderings of the Logosites, whom BOB delivereth from the bondage of Slow Searches, and of ink and paper. And he was raised as a Prince in the Kingdom of Microsoft, until LOGOS calleth him from a burning  hard drive. 

2 The cries of the people came before BOB, saying, "Our Software groweth old. Take us to the Promised Software, that which is called 4.0!"

3 For many months, moaneth and whineth they for deliverance; that they may partaketh of the Software of Milk and Honey, that their Searches may be Rapid in the Land. And BOB leadeth them toward 4.0

4 But lo, they liketh not dwelling in the Wilderness, and suddenly 3.0 looketh not so bad anymore. For the Great Indexing, yea, it weareth upon their nerves, and their Collections, they findeth them not, nor did their Key Links functioneth, and their Customizations and Notes and Workspaces, they worketh not, for forty days and forty nights, when prophecies foretelleth a coming Update, yea, with MANY fixes.

5 But the Logosites waiteth not, yea, even a few hours; for they stormeth the Lines of Customer Service, and they crieth out once again unto BOB, saying, "We liketh not the wilderness, and the Great Indexing, it lasteth longer than Methuseleh's Home Movies. Taketh us back to 3.0!"

6 And BOB saith, "Um, it's still on your hard drive."

7 And behold, BOB sendeth the Testers of Beta as SPIES into the New Software. And lo, they stealthily approacheth it, and they saith, "Lo, it is ELEGANT. Its Home Page is Comely. Truly it is a land of Milk and Honey and Quick Searches, lo, Even in point-six five seconds; but there are Giant Bugs in the Land! And Customer Support helpeth us not in fighting these Bugs, even though we moaneth and waileth into our iPhones, and remindeth them of much gold we payeth through our Cards of Credit! And lo, speaketh of iPhones, that's another thing! Our FREE iPhone Apps haveth only two thousand BOOKS available, but these FREE Apps lacketh some of our BOOKS, though we once giveth much gold for them. And on the Hard Drives of our iPhones wanteth us these many BOOKS from our FREE Apps, and in no wise on the Internet." 

8 And many other utterances were their moanings and whinings, and they beseecheth BOB to go back to 3.0.  

9 And BOB, rolleth he his EYES, and he saith, "Um, it's still on your hard drive."

10 And LOGOS, it waiteth Forty Years before releasing 5.0, though the People crieth out for it.  

Thus endeth the lesson.

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MJ. Smith | Forum Activity | Replied: Thu, Nov 5 2009 11:55 PM | Locked

Amen, Brother, Amen

Orthodox Bishop Hilarion Alfeyev: "To be a theologian means to have experience of a personal encounter with God through prayer and worship."

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Lynden Williams | Forum Activity | Replied: Thu, Nov 5 2009 11:58 PM | Locked

Very creative Rob. Onward to the promised land. Oops! I am already threre and loving it. I can be patient and wait for the tulips to grow.  Forward ever, backward never. Forward, upward, onward together. No surrender, no retreat.

Lynden Williams Communications https://www.lyndenwilliams.net 

Posts 8967
RIP
Matthew C Jones | Forum Activity | Replied: Fri, Nov 6 2009 12:01 AM | Locked

Rob Suggs:

And BOB, rolleth he his EYES, and he saith, "Um, it's still on your hard drive."

10 And LOGOS, it waiteth Forty Years before releasing 5.0, though the People crieth out for it.  

Thus endeth the lesson.

Thanks. We needed that.

Logos 7 Collectors Edition

Posts 2759
DominicM | Forum Activity | Replied: Fri, Nov 6 2009 12:10 AM | Locked

Rob Suggs:
 but there are Giant Bugs in the Land! And Customer Support helpeth us not in fighting these Bugs

Im sorry you must be using a different set of glasses to me, there are a couple of irritating fleas... but no giants here..

And support are releasing fix after fix, quickly and efficiently: I say REPENT, this is well out of order

 

Rob Suggs:
 Our FREE iPhone Apps haveth only two thousand BOOKS available, but these FREE Apps lacketh some of our BOOKS, though we once giveth much gold for them. And on the Hard Drives of our iPhones wanteth us these many BOOKS from our FREE Apps, and in no wise on the Internet." 

Again, have you been reading the forums? Its not Logos, the publishers have to give Logos permission, as it a different format (like you bought it on tape/vinyl and now you DEMAND a Compact Disc just cos technology available. Get real... Logos are working as hard as they can to secure permissions.
Again the downloading to harddrive has been said as possible in the future..

Rob Suggs:
 LOGOS, it waiteth Forty Years before releasing 5.0, though the People crieth out for it.

I hear no cries for version 5, 4 gets better and better each update

Never Deprive Anyone of Hope.. It Might Be ALL They Have

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Todd Phillips | Forum Activity | Replied: Fri, Nov 6 2009 12:21 AM | Locked

Dominic, I think you missed the satire in his writing.

Wiki Links: Enabling Logging / Detailed Search Help - MacBook Pro (2014), ThinkPad E570

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DominicM | Forum Activity | Replied: Fri, Nov 6 2009 12:39 AM | Locked

sorry i never saw the [satire] or [sarcasm] tags Wink

But stand by my responses

 

Never Deprive Anyone of Hope.. It Might Be ALL They Have

Posts 468
Charlene | Forum Activity | Replied: Fri, Nov 6 2009 12:41 AM | Locked

Oh Rob, I so enjoyed it. LOL and well said!

Charlene

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TCBlack | Forum Activity | Replied: Fri, Nov 6 2009 6:27 AM | Locked

I laughed, I cried, It moved me Rob.

 

Hmm Sarcasm is my love language. Obviously I love you. 

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Mitch Davis | Forum Activity | Replied: Fri, Nov 6 2009 6:38 AM | Locked

Much enjoyethed!

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Friedrich | Forum Activity | Replied: Fri, Nov 6 2009 6:46 AM | Locked

Thomas Black:
I laughed, I cried, It moved me Rob.

 

you  have young children, don't you . . .

I like Apples.  Especially Honeycrisp.

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Edwin Bowden | Forum Activity | Replied: Fri, Nov 6 2009 6:52 AM | Locked

Rob is the man!

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PL | Forum Activity | Replied: Fri, Nov 6 2009 8:17 AM | Locked

Rob, this is totally hilarious!  Thanks!

If you're a preacher I want to come hear you preach :)

Peter 

Posts 8660
TCBlack | Forum Activity | Replied: Fri, Nov 6 2009 8:32 AM | Locked

Daniel DeVilder:

Thomas Black:
I laughed, I cried, It moved me Rob.

you  have young children, don't you . . .

Evidently you do too Daniel, if you caught that obvious Larry the Cucumber phrase.

Hmm Sarcasm is my love language. Obviously I love you. 

Posts 17
EricS | Forum Activity | Replied: Fri, Nov 6 2009 8:32 AM | Locked

That was awesome!!

If they start doing video shorts on the homepages like the ones they would send every now and then in L3, this should be the first one.  How about the team Logos group film this as a short acting sequence, that would be quite amusing.

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Ted Hans | Forum Activity | Replied: Fri, Nov 6 2009 8:41 AM | Locked

Thanks Rob, really funny.

Ted

Dell, studio XPS 7100, Ram 8GB, 64 - bit Operating System, AMD Phenom(mt) IIX6 1055T Processor 2.80 GHZ

Posts 319
Michael Hite | Forum Activity | Replied: Fri, Nov 6 2009 8:57 AM | Locked

Excellent - really did make me laugh out loud!

2015 13" MacBook Pro - 2 Ghz Intel i7 - 16 GB RAM - 500GB SSD - 2018 iMac Pro - 3.2GHz 8-core Xeon - both systems running OS 10.14.3 (Mojave)

 

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Mark | Forum Activity | Replied: Fri, Nov 6 2009 9:11 AM | Locked

Can we get this translated into a more dynamic translation such as NIV?  I dont know if you need any copyrights to get it done, but it may help some who can't understand the nuances of old English Smile

 

Posts 569
J. Morris | Forum Activity | Replied: Fri, Nov 6 2009 9:24 AM | Locked

Excellent!!!

Posts 1562
PL | Forum Activity | Replied: Fri, Nov 6 2009 9:27 AM | Locked

I think we also need a Street Language Version (SLV), a Revised Street Language Version (RSLV), and a New Revised Street Language Version (NRSLV)... Smile

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