1 This is the chronicle of the many and diverse wanderings of the Logosites, whom BOB delivereth from the bondage of Slow Searches, and of ink and paper. And he was raised as a Prince in the Kingdom of Microsoft, until LOGOS calleth him from a burning hard drive.
2 The cries of the people came before BOB, saying, "Our Software groweth old. Take us to the Promised Software, that which is called 4.0!"
3 For many months, moaneth and whineth they for deliverance; that they may partaketh of the Software of Milk and Honey, that their Searches may be Rapid in the Land. And BOB leadeth them toward 4.0
4 But lo, they liketh not dwelling in the Wilderness, and suddenly 3.0 looketh not so bad anymore. For the Great Indexing, yea, it weareth upon their nerves, and their Collections, they findeth them not, nor did their Key Links functioneth, and their Customizations and Notes and Workspaces, they worketh not, for forty days and forty nights, when prophecies foretelleth a coming Update, yea, with MANY fixes.
5 But the Logosites waiteth not, yea, even a few hours; for they stormeth the Lines of Customer Service, and they crieth out once again unto BOB, saying, "We liketh not the wilderness, and the Great Indexing, it lasteth longer than Methuseleh's Home Movies. Taketh us back to 3.0!"
6 And BOB saith, "Um, it's still on your hard drive."
7 And behold, BOB sendeth the Testers of Beta as SPIES into the New Software. And lo, they stealthily approacheth it, and they saith, "Lo, it is ELEGANT. Its Home Page is Comely. Truly it is a land of Milk and Honey and Quick Searches, lo, Even in point-six five seconds; but there are Giant Bugs in the Land! And Customer Support helpeth us not in fighting these Bugs, even though we moaneth and waileth into our iPhones, and remindeth them of much gold we payeth through our Cards of Credit! And lo, speaketh of iPhones, that's another thing! Our FREE iPhone Apps haveth only two thousand BOOKS available, but these FREE Apps lacketh some of our BOOKS, though we once giveth much gold for them. And on the Hard Drives of our iPhones wanteth us these many BOOKS from our FREE Apps, and in no wise on the Internet."
8 And many other utterances were their moanings and whinings, and they beseecheth BOB to go back to 3.0.
9 And BOB, rolleth he his EYES, and he saith, "Um, it's still on your hard drive."
10 And LOGOS, it waiteth Forty Years before releasing 5.0, though the People crieth out for it.
Thus endeth the lesson.
