The correct way to Hijack a thread

A few years back in Haiti one of the visiting American pastors had picked up just enough Creole to be dangerous.  he decided to use what he'd learned in church. 

Among other things he preached about not going to church and then going to the female witch doctor.

He was shouting in creole, "No going to church and the female witch doctor!" 

The only problem is that the word for the female witch doctor is VERY similar to the word for peanut butter.  Guess which one he was yelling about.  [:D]  Yeah, that one.

Who knew peanut butter was so sinful?

Undoubtedly one of the best video's I've ever seen on the forums!  I learned more in that video than I have in months of trolling this forum.

To think, I've been hijacking threads WRONG all this time!

Thanks Joe!

Thomas Black said:

I'm glad I'm not addicted to the forums like Phil!

   1. The Industrial Revolution and its consequences have been a DISASTER
   for the human race. They have greatly increased the life-expectancy of
   those of us who live in "advanced" countries, but they have
   destabilized society, have made life UNFULFILLING, have subjected
   human beings to indignities, have led to widespread PSYCHOLOGICAL
   SUFFERING (in the Third World to physical suffering as well) and have
   inflicted severe damage on the natural world. The continued
   development of technology will worsen the situation. It will certainly
   subject human beings to greater INDIGNITIES and inflict greater damage
   on the natural world, it will probably lead to greater social
   disruption and psychological suffering, and it may lead to increased
   physical suffering even in "advanced" countries.
   
   2. The industrial-technological system may survive or it may break
   down. If it survives, it MAY eventually achieve a low level of
   physical and psychological suffering, but only after passing through a
   long and VERY PAINFUL period of adjustment and only at the cost of
   permanently reducing human beings and many other living organisms to
   engineered products and MERE COGS in the social machine. Furthermore,
   if the system survives, the consequences will be inevitable: THERE IS
   NO WAY OF REFORMING OR MODIFYING THE SYSTEM SO AS TO PREVENT IT FROM
   DEPRIVING PEOPLE OF DIGNITY AND AUTONOMY!
   
   3. If the system breaks down the consequences will still be very
   painful. But the BIGGER the system grows the more DISASTROUS the
   results of its breakdown will be, so if it is to break down it had
   best break down SOONER RATHER THAN LATER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!    ;-)

Thomas Black said:

Who knew peanut butter was so sinful?

In Japanese, the word for American is Amerika-jin, Canadian is Kanada-jin, and so on... You can correctly figure "jin" equals "citizen." The word for mankind is "nin-gen" ("Nin" means people/person.) One missionary I know preached a sermon about how all "Nin-jin" have sinned against God and must repent! The congregation sat respectfully through the whole sermon without telling the missionary "Nin-jin" means carrot.

ALL CARROTS HAVE SINNED AGAINST GOD AND MUST REPENT! [*-)]

Richard DeRuiter said:

Luuk Dondorp said:

Would you please tell me when I am making such an embarrassing mistake... You are allowed to laugh as loud as possible, as long as you tell me that I was wrong!

Oh, we'd be GLAD to.

Yes the Spanish is bad, but it looks like it was done with Google's translator.

A few legendary Spanish language mistakes.

...

A legendary German mistake:

US President John F. Kennedy was visiting Berlin and made a speech underlining US support for West Germany after East Germany had erected the Berlin Wall. Indicating his solidarity with the people of Berlin, he said "Ich bin ein Berliner" (intending to mean "I am a Berliner"). But a Berliner is actually a local kind of pastry, just like a Danish is (you wouldn't say "I am a Danish" -- you'd say "I am Danish"). So by inserting the indefinite article by mistake, he was actually saying, in effect, "I am a jelly doughnut." The cartoonists had a field day with that one!

I made a funny linguistic faux pas when I was an exchange student in the French-speaking part of Belgium. I was making a pie for my host family and was explaining to them how to do it. When I mentioned the crust, I got the word for it (croûte) confused for the very similar word crotte, which means dog poop or horse manure.

Another embarrassing one that a friend of mine made. He was asking a French woman he knew how her knees were (the woman had been having some knee pain). He confused the French word for knees (genoux) for the word meaning twins (jumeaux). Unfortunately, unbeknownst to him, she had recently had a miscarriage and it was to have been twins. Also, even worse, the word jumeaux can be used as somewhat crude slang for another pair associated with a woman. So there was the awkward unintentional reference to her painful loss. But she, knowing that he probably did not know of her pregnancy -- it hadn't been publicly announced -- thought he might have been talking about her breasts!

 

Philip Spitzer said:

Here's something you'll really find humorous. I'm actually reading a paper book on time management as we speak, well, actually I'm taking a break from the book right now...but with any luck it will help me get off these forums....OK....back to work now. see you in 10 minutes.

I once bought a book on how to overcome procrastination. It was called The Procrastinator's Handbook. I never got around to reading it.

Actually, with a title like that, I would have expected it to give instruction on the fine art of procrastination. Bits of advice like "never put off until tomorrow what you can do the next day."

Matthew C. Jones said:

"Bad idea: baptizing cats,

Cool people don't need baptized?

Have you seen Crummy Church Signs? The blog is no longer being updated nor is the great organized table of contents for all the images available anymore, as the author cannibalized it to turn it into a book. But all the archived blog content is still there. Some pretty funny stuff. My goodness, some Christians sure know how to keep prospective seekers away!  (Read the archive of the first month the blog was in operation to get its philosophy and read a disclaimer.)

Philip Spitzer said:

I figured I'd start this thread to talk about how to properly hijack a thread. That way we can make sure useless chatter is in a place we can all ignore. Please make sure all posts deal with the topic of hijacking threads.

Unfortunately this thread has gotten WAY off topic, personally I blame Damian, and Chris, and George, and... well it doesn't matter.

The proper way to hijack a thread is to wait until your spouse is just about ready to get it through the sewing needle, and just at the crucial moment make sure that you sneeze or make a sudden movement that will be certain to startle her.  Of course be prepared to duck if you do this. 

Pardon me while I go find the ice pack.

I humbly repaint.  However to be a recognized member of the 1K club you need something around 14 more posts.

Thomas Black said:

Unfortunately this thread has gotten WAY off topic, personally I blame Damian, and Chris, and George, and... well it doesn't matter.

Hey, don't I get any credit? I was approved for a Visa card way back in 19xx and have proven myself credit-worthy ever since then.

Thomas Black said:

The proper way to hijack a thread is to wait until your spouse is just about ready to get it through the sewing needle, and just at the crucial moment make sure that you sneeze or make a sudden movement that will be certain to startle her.  Of course be prepared to duck if you do this. 

Pardon me while I go find the ice pack.

You need an ice pack for a needle puncture wound? That must be some big darn(ing) needle!

Russ Quinn said:

Noah built an ark not a fence.

Noah didn't need a fence because he had no stolen goods to sell. Anyway, fencing wasn't invented yet by that point. Its origins date back to ancient Egypt and Greece, around 1200 B.C.

Thomas Black said:

Oh, no.  Now I have to put up with more advertising?

What??? Are you a socialist?

If you are, I'm pretty sure it's cool with George.

Joe Miller said:

The video is still being updated by YoutTube, so it is a bit blurry until they finish, but, just for you brother

Without doubt, the most important video yet produced by a user....

Rosie, could this be added to the wiki?

Richard DeRuiter said:

Rosie Perera said:

timeline.

Time flies like an arrow.

Fruit flies like a banana.

Fruit flies when your having fun.

Philip Spitzer said:

Rosie Perera said:

I don't want to encourage

This brief statement summarizes the intent of this thread very well. Great job!

On the contrary, the entire intent of this thread is to help certain ones of us make it into the 1K club! ;-)

Russ Quinn said:

Are you arguing that Damian is the alpha and omega of thread hijacking?

We're supposed to be discussing HOW to hijack a thread not WHO's hijacking threads??????

Philip Spitzer said:

No, we are supposed to be discussing anything but what we are supposed to be discussing. Which causes me to discuss the very thing I wish to avoid, ahhhh....I need to get back to being off topic....

My apologies, I normally avoid making on-topic posts because of the problems they cause.....

Russ Quinn said:

And just WHO brought that up? How about this little reminder, mister . . .

THERE"S NO NEED TO SHOUT - USING ALL CAPS IS VERY RUDE!!!!

George Somsel said:

I fixed carrots with the roast tonight.

But, if you fixed them then that's a good thing. They are no longer sinners....